But other than that, it turns out that my mother's side of the family - all up - there are 25 living cousins, not counting children, spouses or other. That's 25 second-generation descendants of the one couple. All but one of my classes are fewer in number than my mother's cousins. (As a comparison, I have 10 - but only 3 that I can reliably name.)
In short, I spent all day straining to look sad for someone I didn't know, while a bunch of 40-50 year-olds remarked how much I had grown since (our last meeting) preschool.
*****
Y'know what really grinds my gears? Farming. It's okay during summer, because while the Thistles are certainly growing, they're alive and supple. Now, in Autumn, they're dying and turning into hard, brittle, spiky monstrosities. That and the burrs and the catheads -- you city people don't know the horrors that we country folk need to get through in order to feed you.
Every single plant - in the whole of the countryside - is actively seeking our death and discomfort. (Not necessarily in that order.) You've probably never even heard of burrs or catheads. Burrs are these tiny two-pronged golden-coloured seeds that stick into your socks and your pant-legs, waiting patiently for a chance to dig into your flesh. They are horrible. Catheads -- you may laugh at the name, but that's because you've never had one embedded in your ankle via your toe. Its shaped basically like a cats head, except with ginormous razor-sharp spikes for ears, nose and neck. They stick to your shoes, then stick to the carpet, then stick to the bones of your feet. It is somewhat like standing on a thumbtack, except much thicker and specially evolved to camouflage into carpet.
Basically, agricultural life sucks. Dot point time.
Speaking of recycled, however, I watched the 'Life After People' special on Seven. The whole thing was mindblowingly American, but with an Australian narrator. They thought that if whenever the script said 'Houses in America,' they could say (really quickly to keep up with the camera cuts) 'HousesinAustraliaandtheUnitedStates' and people would think that it was an Australian production. Australia is mentioned a sum, grand total of once. Guess which bridge collapses.
It was even more galling when every mention of anything was obviously referring to the American climate. They mentioned (indirectly) the Freeze-Thaw cycle - something that only happens in temperate regions. Still, better than American accents further polluting our airwaves. It was a documentary too, so they would have got some muscle-bound high school drop-out to read it out in a ultra-masculine way, like he was selling Protein shakes and exercise equipment rather than reading a script about the long-term consequences of temperature change on window sealant in high-rise buildings.
Following on that topic, I found this article from the aptly named Damn Interesting. Its about how to signal to humans from the far future to avoid the sites of nuclear waste dumps - a problem considering that a) all materials we have corrode, and b) all languages and symbols we have change.
Think of the classic nuclear symbol. Sure, to us it means nuclear danger, but to the uninformed, it could be referring or revering Angels, with the wings and a central head. After all, consider how we interpret the paintings of our ancients.
They draw hands on cave walls, and it is a symbolic act of unity with nature. They draw animals on the walls, it is a mystic symbol guaranteeing success in hunting. I see - when I watch those anthropology shows - a conversation between two cavemen: "Dada, look! I made a fat chick out of clay!" "Ogg, that is disgusting. Now bury it and help us hunt deer." But that doll is then analysed by a team of anthropologists desperately trying to extract culture from a 4 inch figurine, and it becomes " an ancient symbol of the mother goddess used as a fertility aid," which is also "plainly meant to be held by pregnant women as a stress ball when giving birth and thus has a symbolic role in guaranteeing a successful childbirth."
Now I may be downplaying the painstaking research done by thousands of scientists, some who have spent their lives trying to turn a figurine into a civilisation - but this highlights the difficulties in interpreting the symbols of our past. Imagine trying to overcome such difficulties. Give an impression of horrifying death? Morbid, death-obsessed culture, give us a research grant. Show people in various stages of death? Warlike people, shrine of a battle site. Give a picture story of exactly how much you don't want to be around here? They misinterpret one panel and bring their friends.
I've discovered via Wikipedia that the final draft of this plan isn't scheduled to be submitted for another 18 years, so I guess we have time to wait. They've been going since 1991, so this better be a really good plan.
Every single plant - in the whole of the countryside - is actively seeking our death and discomfort. (Not necessarily in that order.) You've probably never even heard of burrs or catheads. Burrs are these tiny two-pronged golden-coloured seeds that stick into your socks and your pant-legs, waiting patiently for a chance to dig into your flesh. They are horrible. Catheads -- you may laugh at the name, but that's because you've never had one embedded in your ankle via your toe. Its shaped basically like a cats head, except with ginormous razor-sharp spikes for ears, nose and neck. They stick to your shoes, then stick to the carpet, then stick to the bones of your feet. It is somewhat like standing on a thumbtack, except much thicker and specially evolved to camouflage into carpet.
Basically, agricultural life sucks. Dot point time.
- This list of awesome things is in itself awesome. It is the A-Z of Awesomeness, with each letter suitably accompanied by a picture. So, 'O' for instance, has a picture of 'Optimus Prime Obliterating Oompa-Loompas' (Favourites of mine are D, F, G, K, O, T, X, and Z.
- 12 salivatingly pretty castles. (Well, make this 13.) Yes, I dabble in architectural nerdery as well as... pretty much all other kinds. One of the disadvantages of being at home is that I've left my games case at school, and I spent all of that final Wednesday reacquainting myself with Galactic Civilisations 2, meaning that I'm suffering from withdrawal from that as well as caffeine and company.
- (Although it's probably just more efficient if I just learn to like coffee. I can barely keep my eyes open, let alone think of eventually during these holidays being productive. I found out that cramming for exams - along with pushing appointments, payments and travel plans out of my memory banks - also pushed all knowledge of the History Extension status report that was due today, along with the impetus to get started or even create Progress Log.doc on my computer.)
- Did you know that our modern trend of cremating our dead comes initially from one eccentric man in 1883? For starters, Dr William Price was one very odd man. He thought himself the reincarnation of a 10,000 year old Celtic druid, wore a dead fox on his head, and named his son Jesus Christ. When Jesus died, William Price built a bonfire near his house - attracting the curiousity of his neighbours. But as Price set the pyre ablaze with his son's body on top, the crowd became horrified. People weren't cremated in the 19th century; it just wasn't done. They rushed to haul Jesus down and prosecute William Price for destroying evidence to hinder an inquest. The obvious problem - that Jesus died naturally - meant that Price could walk free (fox-hat and all). When he himself died nine years later, his cremation got a crowd of 20,000. Four years after his death, the first crematorium opened. Today, 70% of bodies in Western countries are cremated - and all because of a nutter called Dr William Price.
(From a book called The Interesting Bits, by Justin Pollard. Wikipedia's version has slight differences, but tells more-or-less the same story.)
Speaking of recycled, however, I watched the 'Life After People' special on Seven. The whole thing was mindblowingly American, but with an Australian narrator. They thought that if whenever the script said 'Houses in America,' they could say (really quickly to keep up with the camera cuts) 'HousesinAustraliaandtheUnitedStates' and people would think that it was an Australian production. Australia is mentioned a sum, grand total of once. Guess which bridge collapses.
It was even more galling when every mention of anything was obviously referring to the American climate. They mentioned (indirectly) the Freeze-Thaw cycle - something that only happens in temperate regions. Still, better than American accents further polluting our airwaves. It was a documentary too, so they would have got some muscle-bound high school drop-out to read it out in a ultra-masculine way, like he was selling Protein shakes and exercise equipment rather than reading a script about the long-term consequences of temperature change on window sealant in high-rise buildings.
Following on that topic, I found this article from the aptly named Damn Interesting. Its about how to signal to humans from the far future to avoid the sites of nuclear waste dumps - a problem considering that a) all materials we have corrode, and b) all languages and symbols we have change.
Think of the classic nuclear symbol. Sure, to us it means nuclear danger, but to the uninformed, it could be referring or revering Angels, with the wings and a central head. After all, consider how we interpret the paintings of our ancients.
They draw hands on cave walls, and it is a symbolic act of unity with nature. They draw animals on the walls, it is a mystic symbol guaranteeing success in hunting. I see - when I watch those anthropology shows - a conversation between two cavemen: "Dada, look! I made a fat chick out of clay!" "Ogg, that is disgusting. Now bury it and help us hunt deer." But that doll is then analysed by a team of anthropologists desperately trying to extract culture from a 4 inch figurine, and it becomes " an ancient symbol of the mother goddess used as a fertility aid," which is also "plainly meant to be held by pregnant women as a stress ball when giving birth and thus has a symbolic role in guaranteeing a successful childbirth."
Now I may be downplaying the painstaking research done by thousands of scientists, some who have spent their lives trying to turn a figurine into a civilisation - but this highlights the difficulties in interpreting the symbols of our past. Imagine trying to overcome such difficulties. Give an impression of horrifying death? Morbid, death-obsessed culture, give us a research grant. Show people in various stages of death? Warlike people, shrine of a battle site. Give a picture story of exactly how much you don't want to be around here? They misinterpret one panel and bring their friends.
I've discovered via Wikipedia that the final draft of this plan isn't scheduled to be submitted for another 18 years, so I guess we have time to wait. They've been going since 1991, so this better be a really good plan.
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